I went down the stairs and found that he had gotten into some English muffins that were on the counter and was climbing on the kitchen window. I wasn't sure how to get a monkey out of my house, so I did what seemed natural. I screamed, "Out monkey, Out!" over and over again. Instead of running out of the house, he starting pooping everywhere and ran into our dining room and climbed up into the rafters. I then got a broom and started hitting him with it, but monkeys are pretty good at hanging onto things way up high and I couldn't get him to budge. He just started hissing and showing me his sharp teeth. At this point, I sat down and put my head between my legs to keep from fainting and began to send several text messages to people I thought could help rescue me.
Enter James. You've met James before as he has rescued me in the past. I knew James was working at a house that is about 10 minutes away so I didn't even send a frantic text message to him, but apparently someone else did and within 4 minutes James was at my door with a big stick and a smile. He was able to knock the monkey down to the ground and while the monkey clung to a dining room chair, James dragged it out by its tail.
Here's a picture of James dragging the monkey, who was dragging the chair out of our house. I know it's a terrible picture and Erik has scolded me for not taking one of him on our rafters hissing at me. At the time, I wasn't thinking about getting a great photo of the monkey, but was just trying to get him out of the house without fainting first.